If you can’t dazzle them with dexterity . . .

. . . baffle them with bullsh*t. After all these years, I still have the capacity to be amazed that presumably intelligent people are capable of doing something like this:

Accelerate the design and delivery of complex workflow processes leveraging event-based automation and dynamic critical path analysis.

Who writes this kind of stuff? And why haven’t they been beaten to death with their keyboards?

Here’s an English translation: Full-featured job scheduling software.

I think I’m going to go aggregate viral solutions enabling syndicated revolutionary networks to transition turn-key relationships. Or something.

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5 comments

  1. So…

    Can I begin to use you as a ‘translator?’ guy?

    ‘Cause, I work in I.T. now, and frankly… They’s talk differnt than me.

    I mean seriously… The stuff you’re making fun of in this post and your rather amusing ‘b*llsh*t’ link… Well… They all talk like that OVER COFFEE, let alone in meetings.

    Gah.

    I concur with your kvetch.

    — T

  2. We talk about it like that as a game…

    It’s the game that we can take an idea and quintuple the number of words used in the description, or we lose.

    “We need this installed on this marketing pc” becomes “There is a business need for a functional change in the software realm to increase productivity in a dollars-to-sense sense, concerning a workplace appliance in the marketing dept.”

    Damn, I got a double-reference score on that one…

    I hate it when that happens when it doesn’t matter… πŸ˜‰

  3. N8, only you. Who’s “we”?

    There are times I miss working at the Help Desk. Reading your post was not one of those times. πŸ˜‰

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